What’s your shoe size?
Using the American sizing system, 7.5 or 8, depending on the style of the shoe and the height of the heel.
What is your favorite shoe color?
Black is beautiful, baby. Red (as in red states) is a close second.
Do you only wear stilettos?
No. The Stiletto wears all different kinds of shoes, including platforms, wedgies, mules, clogs, flip-flops and cowboy boots. Of course, The Stiletto wears sneaks at the gym.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
The Stiletto currently owns 80 pairs of shoes, but that’s only because a couple of dozen pairs were donated to charity. The Stiletto needed a tax deduction; if the US ever adopts a flat tax, there’s no telling how large The Stiletto’s shoe collection might become.
Who is your favorite shoe designer?
Stuart Weitzman†. Not that The Stiletto can afford him on what this blog brings in. Click on some ads or buy a T-shirt, okay? The Stiletto needs a new pair of shoes!
Leno or Letterman?
Leno. Still. The Stiletto shares Leno’s love of bikes and muscle cars. Plus, Letterman is a misogynist. And funny-looking (and The Stiletto doesn't mean "funny" in a good way).
What else makes you laugh?
Those three-page policy papers (six pages, if you include the Spanish translation) on national security issues that the Democrats put out from time to time. Other political humor The Stiletto enjoys: Jackie Mason, Andy Borowitz, Conan O’Brien, Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel, South Park, King of the Hill, Futurama and The Simpsons.
What about non-political humor?
For improvisational comedy, Jonathan Winters is peerless, and The Stiletto’s fave stand-up comic will always be Rodney Dangerfield. The Stiletto also loves The Three Stooges, The Marx Brothers, Jerry Lewis, Mel Brooks and Monty Python. And just between us, Rob Schneider movies are also a guilty pleasure of The Stiletto’s - whatever you do, don’t tell Connie Chung.
You read a lot of stuff on science and technology. Are you a geek?
Yes. But no one would ever guess, since The Stiletto is built like a stripper and all day long she holds it back, back with all her might. Having said that, The Stiletto is a feminist and prefers to be referred to by the gender-neutral term “blogger,” as opposed to “blogress” or any other term that differentiates bloggers with tits from those without. Focus on the wits and not the tits, okay?
How much of a geek are you?
The Stiletto avidly follows research developments in nanoparticles, plastics, ceramics, DNA-based computing, robotics and AI. The Stiletto is also a huge fan of ST:TNG (if you don’t know what this stands for, you are not a geek).
Do you have any unusual skills?
The Stiletto can read upside down and backwards just about as rapidly as the normal way. You can well imagine how often this skill comes in handy.
Is there something people don’t know about you?
The Stiletto is cross lateral, which only her closest intimates knew until now.
What do you look for in a man?
The Stiletto likes a man who is a conservative – social and fiscal. Plus, he’s got to have a really big brain and know how to use the organ skillfully. Most men don’t measure up, so don’t feel bad.
Would you ever date a liberal?
Only if he’s a really good kisser. But The Stiletto is not sure she could marry a liberal, unless he did not want to have children. Why help ‘em breed?
Will you marry me?
No. You are not in The Stiletto’s league.
All-Too-FAQs I: The James Lipton Edition
What's your favorite word?
What's your least favorite word?
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Watching liberals get hoist on their own petard - especially on race.
What turns you off?
Liberals, ignoramuses. Sorry, The Stiletto repeated herself.
What is your favorite curse word?
Farshtunkeneh or fungool, depending on the situation.
What sound or noise do you love?
A couple of the sounds that The Stiletto really likes are the sound of a switchblade and a motorbike.
What sound or noise do you hate?
The excruciatingly slow cadence and stentorian intonation John Kerry uses when giving a speech.
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Dominatrix. The Stiletto has a recurring fantasy about kinky male Libs or Dems coming to her home to vacuum, scrub floors, wash windows and clean the oven as she berates them mercilessly about their political beliefs while Lee Greenwood’s “G-d Bless The USA” plays in the background. Gee, how much can a gal charge for that?
What profession would you not like to do?
Fact-checker at The New York Times. No one should have to work that hard to make a buck. Really.
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear G-d say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Eh, I've seen worse.
All-Too-FAQs II: The Spam Edition
Sierra Mist or Mountain Dew?
Duuude! Neither one.
Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi. Diet Wild Cherry flavor, in particular. It has nothing to do with cherries gone wild; The Stiletto just likes the taste.
Olive Garden or Red Lobster?
The Stiletto wouldn’t be caught dead in either eatery.
Krispy Kreme or Dunkin’ Donuts?
Krispy Kreme, but only the plain glazed. Did you know they're 200 calories each? Thank you, Mayor Bloomberg.
Burger King or McDonald's?
In-n-Out Burger, Double-Double, protein style (wrapped in lettuce instead of on a bun) with fresh (not frozen) fried potatoes. If you don't live in AZ, CA, or NV, The Stiletto advises that you go to Burger King for the hamburgers and McDonald's for the fries.
Plain or peanut M&Ms?
The plain, the plain.
Chunky or creamy peanut butter?
Creamy. And The Stiletto thinks Jif tastes more like fresh roasted peanuts than Skippy does. So there!
AT&T or Verizon?
A pox on both their houses.
Weber gas or charcoal grill?
Something magic happens when shish kabob is grilled over hot coals. So too, hamburgers, hot dogs, asparagus, eggplant, pineapple, mango – you name it. Yum.
Rare or well done?
The Stiletto prefers red meat.
Mustard or mayonnaise?
Mayonnaise. Actually, Miracle Whip. Just because it has the word “whip” in it.
Dark or milk chocolate?
Dark, and only dark, ever passes The Stiletto’s lips.
Chocolate or vanilla ice cream?
Dulce de leche.
Coffee or tea?
Coffee, iced. Even in the dead of winter.
Yankees or Red Sox?
Yankees. Say what you will about George Steinbrenner, but he’s Republican, and he's an alpha male without having to gulp down fistfuls of steroids. Want proof? Johnny Damon walking out onto the field clean-shaven, locks shorn and in Yankee pinstripes.
Six Flags or Universal Studios?
Both. The Stiletto is a roller-coaster freak, and has gone to most of the amusement parks in the US - and several in Europe – to ride them.
Cats or dogs?
The Stiletto does not own any pets – unless you count the very pampered men in her life. But if she were to get an animal companion, it would be a cat. Probably a calico or one with tiger stripes or one of each. The problem with cats is that they’re like potato chips, so it’s better not to get started with that first one.
† Mention of specific brands or products by The Stiletto reflect her actual preferences and purchases, and are not made to satisfy any product-placement deals. The Stiletto does not accept "blogola," though she will do product testing and taste comparisons when samples are provided - but with no guarantee of a recommendation or rave, or even a post about the product.
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